The Saga Continues….
By Nevin Jefferson
The Saga Continues….
The L.A. Disconnection Roadside Saga Part II
By Nevin JeffersonAnd how was the drive to Los Angles you ask? Ken was indecisive about what Highway to take, so he drove all of them. We ended up getting to LA via the back way, which is the longest route to take. Then once we did arrive, Ken decided to chunk the directions to the motel and find it on by his knowledge of the area. In order for this to work, you have to have knowledge to apply to this principle. More hours later, we were seriously lost and Ken didn’t want to stop and ask for directions. Why? People who work in Service Stations live away from the location and really don’t know where much of anything is. “Okay, that’s it! Pull over, I’m driving!” “I’m okay, Babe! I’m doing the driving.” “You’re doing the driving alright, you’re driving me nuts. Been there, done that, got the weaved baskets! I don’t ever want to go there again in any lifetime. PULL OVER!” “NO!” While waiting for the light to change at an intersection, one that looked really familiar. I got out of the car and went over to the Bus Stop where I sat down on the bench. I’ve had enough! I lit a cigarette and took in my surroundings. I was in an all Black neighborhood with my being “Old School” to the young “Hip Hop” crowd at the Bus Stop. It took Ken awhile to pull up to the Bus Stop with the passenger window down. “What is my little nigger doing at the Bus Stop? Get in the car, I’ll take you home to your mammy!” Talk about angering a crowd! The colorful language was enough to make me wash out mouths with lye soap. Ken had to run a red light in order to escape from a “Hip-Hop” crowd gone mad. It was 9:00 o’clock at night when we finally pulled into the driveway of the motel in the Hispanic neighborhood. Previously, we had drove through a Asian neighborhood where Ken questioned a Pet Store presence there. Ken speaks fluent Spanish and writes it as well, so it wasn’t a problem when the Clerk told us “No English”. Welcome to LA! The first thing that I did was drop off Ken at the first Leather Bar then headed out into a new night. The gay scene in LA is draped in a sexual background with casual encounters being a way of life. Bars are a candy store for those in the mood for something sexually sweet and satisfying to all urges. Yes, once again I experienced a flashback to the 70’s when being gay meant having sex because it was what men did together. I parked the car in one of the busiest strips according to the Gay Guide that I had. I had completely forgot that Ken had dressed me for the evening as a token of a good gesture. He knew that Mister Saga was not too thrilled about the drive down into LA. I agreed to show him that everything was cool and that I wasn’t going to f**k him up no time in the near future. So, what was he wearing, you ask? He wore a black vest without a shirt, tight black jeans with no B.B. of D’s, and worker’s boots. Oh, Ken also accessorized me with a whip clipped on my left side, a leather studded bracelet (A cock ring for those not in the know), a blue kerchief in my left back pocket, and a red kerchief tied around my neck. I snuck on some Vanilla Fields because Ken had nixed on cologne. Hey, a gay gotta smell purty! He also nixed my purse. This I could live with for a night out on the town. I remembered all of this when I noticed heads spinning around as I walked down the street. Horns honked at me, people watched me from inside their nightlife haunt, and I got more “Hello’s” smiles, “Hi’s” and “What are you into tonight?” I got acknowledged more in the first 5 minutes of my night out here in LA than I did in the 9 years I’ve been in Washington. If the Saga ever moves to LA, you know why. I was on vacation to get away from everybody and everything. It was my “time” to cool out, regroup, and put things into perspective. This was a must with the things that awaited me when I returned home. Yes gang, scene two, full of drama and life changing storylines. What’s the plot? To break me! This will never happen because I’m a strong believer of the old adage; “Only the strong survive!” I let go, let loose, and let myself be free in me. I stepped into my model’s walk complete with stops, turns, and poses. Tourist took pictures of me from the Tour Bus that just so happened to pass me by. Such luck, huh? “Hey Daddy, can I be your boy?” This came out of the speaker of the bus by the driver who was a friend of Dorothy’s no what’s, but’s, or if’s about it! I playfully unbuttoned my jeans while nodding my head towards his direction. He gave a tour of the sign on the bus that had his name on it. I wasn’t wearing my glasses per Ken, so I didn’t see it or the bus! I did see the newly built movie theatre that I had stopped in front of to button back up my jeans. What looked like a neighborhood movie house focused into something completely different once I looked at the posters in the lighted “Now Playing” glass. The beefcake studs wearing leather harnesses gave into the plot of the movie house. The next poster featuring a cute blonde, blue-eyed twinkle who fills the screen with cream graced the building. Talk about your hot butter served in the seats and in the aisles! The place had a concession stand with a lobby behind it with large section couches. I watched as men exited the movie house acting like they had just watched the latest run movie complete with satisfied looks on the face. All of the signs that the movies were a hot hit! Every guy wore wedding bands that stood out like sore thumbs or a case of blue balls. A few stopped and phoned home to the Misses to alert her that he was on his way home and how long he’d be. Hey, as a writer I work by sight, sound, and body language with everything that I want to know, didn’t want to know, and don’t need to know pouring out of the people who I come into contact with. One married man with a strong taste for dick asked me where the nearest 24-hour supermarket was? I pointed down the street. He thanked me. Was there a store down the street? Damn if I know, I was just being polite. “How much?” This was whispered into my ear by a very tan, very good looking, hot bod being displayed in expensive track pants or sports pants, the ones with a sleek stripe down the sides…those, a tight fitting tank top that showed his muscled arms, a expensive gold bracelet, gold chain, green eyed, killer smile, and short black hair, clipped and styled by a Salon expert which isn‘t cheap. Be still my dick! Settle down, my sweet ass that went into complete over boil! This is a classic example of my having a clueless moment and not seeing the giant picture in front of my face. I leaned over towards the door of the movie house and squinted to see the admission sign. “$20.00 whole dollars! The next show is in five minutes. For this price you should get a popcorn, coke, and a condom with it.” “You’re funny!” “Funny how? Funny, “HA-HA!” or funny, he-he and more he! Which one? Take your pick. It’s free!” “You’re really cute!” “Now if the next line out of your mouth is that I’m too outgoing and am overwhelming, I’m going to become extremely pissed off. I’m tired of getting my f**king feelings hurt for being me! Yes, I‘m bitter!” “You’re very powerful! You’re also very spiritual, I can feel it!” “Praise the Lord! Ring those Church Bells, it’s a miracle!” I tickle myself to no end with a strong booming, deep, rich, laugh that makes those around me feel good. to express it . The joy, peace, and self-happiness from within expresses freely without! The 30-Something gentleman joined me in a hard filled laugh then leaned in close to me. “Let me go over the technicalities with you, so we’ll both be on the same text. Come on now, a very sexy and brilliant guy like you isn’t out looking for love. You’re out strictly for cash. And I don’t blame you. You got with the motive, means, and opportunity. Go with it and make it work for you. You are and I’m quite taken by you. How much is an opportunity with you?” “Honey, I don’t charge for this. There’s no price on the natural being of me with my enjoying my fellowman and myself. It’s free! This way, I can’t get sued! “Who’d sue you?” “You’d be surprised! I’m still in shock over the shit!” I was still enjoying a clueless moment with everything going completely over my head. “I’m not a Cop! I’m an Attorney!” “I would suggest that we both get down to our briefs and let our imaginations run wild then have at it. But, I’m not wearing any. Neither are you! The Defense rests.” My sense of humor is simply amazing to me. We shared another laugh with my lighting a cigarette after coming up for air. Still clueless, but I did notice that he kept his left hand inside his pocket during the time we had been amusing one another. This set of bells, lights, alarms, whistles, and disaster sirens in my head that he was married. At times, I think that God is testing me to see how faithful I am and this was one of them. “How much do I need to avail myself of your services?” Finally, the light bulb came on! Since this was good Saga material I decided to go play out the scene before making a quick fast exit stage right. “Okay, here’s my biz! It’s $100.00 dollars and 99 cents just for me to leave with you. I’ll discuss fantasies with you along the way with your picking the one of your choice. You’ll looking at $1,000 dollars, which is for a experience of a lifetime. I deal strictly with cash. Satisfaction guaranteed or your wallet and jewelry back!” This one really floored him as well as me. Once composed he chuckled the rest of the conversation. Which was only fitting since this was a joke! “You’re under pricing yourself. I had you pegged at $2,000 with a $500.00 delivery fee for yourself plus a tip.” “Yeah, right! You’re going to write this off on your expense account aren’t you?” “You’re cleverly bright and creative.” “Yep, I’ll never be accused of being a dumb f**k!” I thought that my price would be wrong to the married man who on the norm couldn’t afford me if I were a man of the evening. And how many men walk around with this much cash on them? For me, this one! So far, I had attracted two attorneys both of them taken. At times I feel like I’m being punished! And this was one of them. Deep down, I know that this isn’t true so I laughed about the events taking place in my life. This was a great compliment to a man who can’t give it away! Oh well, your lost studs! “I really like you!” He pulled his hand out of his pocket revealing a chunk of gold with diamonds in it with the company of a gold money clip with a bankroll to choke an elephant. “Can we hang out first and talk?” “Sure, with me that’s all you’re going to get!” I was very serious. “I can sense the action that you’re going to give me.” He slipped a $100.00 bill into my pocket. Me? I tried to be cute about it and slipped in back to him inside of his sweats or sports pants. This is when I discovered that he was wearing a double cock ring. I peeked to make sure. Yep, a silver one! He got off on this one, gang! He followed suit by unbuttoning my jeans then slipping the $100.00 buck bill inside. I prayed to God not to get a paper cut on my Mister. He slid his arm around my waist and walked me down the unfamiliar street which was filled with Queens, Studs, Drag Queens, and Lesbians. “I like it all natural with no condoms interfering with the sex.” “Are you out of your f**king mind?” “You get tested don’t you?” “I know that you’re not finished siring the next generation in your bedroom are you?” “I want another son! Right now, I have 3 girls and 1 boy. I want another little me running around.” “Not at this pace you won’t! Your wife will be giving birth to a orphan! Or worst!” “You’re very caring and considerate. It suits you just fine. It’s your spiritually coming into play. I have no concerns with you. You can tell when a person is HIV+ or have AIDS, they’re faces are sunken and they have skinny arms and legs. There’s an operation to correct this but let’s look at the facts, how many of these guys can afford it while on Disability or Welfare?” Where do people get this shit? He opened the car door of a very expensive convertible sports car. I’m clueless when it comes to cars. “How do you define yourself?” “I like men of your persuasion as you can tell.” He placed my hand on his hard on then made a grab for my goods while speeding through the lights. I’m married! Kids! You know all of this, but I’m not gay or bi.” Boy, was this going to lead into a interesting conversion though out the early morning. As Wil Wright says about me whenever he hears the sounds of drama at the bowling alley. “O, Oh! Somebody done went and said something that they shouldn’t have around Nevin. Now, he’s going off!” Thank you Wil, bowl another 300 game for me just to piss of the majority of straight boys in your league. I reached under the seat and grabbed his laptop. I pulled up and book marked both http://www.gaypride.com and email@example.com . “This is how I define myself?” Being a perfect gentleman he pulled over and read my latest Saga and Poll article. “Your writing is very powerful! There’s no money for the type of writing that you do and people really don’t give you the admiration, respect, and recognition that you deserve. I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. You got more going on upstairs than most of the hustlers that I’ve dealt with.” Now it was his turn to be clueless. “I’m not a Hustler! I’m support my writing as a Technical Support Specialist in a Computer Room of a Hospital which I won’t mention. I’m on vacation and that place doesn’t exist until I get back.” He then went on to tell me every vile, low-down, mean-spirited thing that he had done and wanted to be punished for. “Alright mo-fo, knock it off! Here‘s your money back, thanks for the memories!” “I’m honored that you’re going to do me for free! I insist on paying.” “Did you read all of my profile?” “Just the stuff that I need to know.” “I’m HIV+ and I didn’t have an operation. The State wouldn’t pay for it. God restored his temple to its original structure. God is good!” The light bulb came on for the man who wanted to make penance for his sins. “I’m honest! Most guys won’t tell you their status because they don’t won’t to be rejected or they don’t know. Because they haven’t been tested and may be infected without knowing it. Read my Saga archives, it’ll put you in the right mind frame.” I was expecting the shocked, disgusted, mortified, and need to flee reaction that I normally get when I tell interested guys my status. If they read me, they’d know. I have nothing to hide with all of my cards on the table. There’s no secret agenda about me. I’m that type of gay. “I like being around you! I’d still like to spend the evening with you. I can show you the bars, we can get a bite to eat, and go somewhere quiet and talk.” “Okay, but remember that I’m wearing a whip. Try anything and I’ll spank your ass!” The hand on my thigh told me that I used a wrong choice of words. This would only happen to me, welcome to my world! The bars are mostly a pickup place for the LA bound who f**k for sport and go out looking for new conquests. Nightly! Sex is commonplace with everyone getting laid more than a carpet. Of course, there were those with the “I’m it” attitude and played up to people before pulling the plug on the person because they want to wait for better. Even the ugly guys are getting picked up. How ugly? They were so ugly that they hurt my feelings. The consensus of this lot is that AIDS is out there and since you can die from it you might as well get all of the action that you an get. Once you do get it, the worry is over and you continue to get it on, get if off, and move it on. Nobody wants to be told how to have sex. The odds are that it’ll never happen to them! Then there are those who think that they have a instant relationship after having sex with someone. A slew of girls were crying into their beer over the fact that the guy stopped calling and coming around after standing them up after a night of sex. What a bunch of dim-wits! Sex is available in every avenue including Pounders Sex Club. They advertise and sponsor gay events in the community. Giving back to the community, ain’t that nice? Word on the street and inside information from my almost trick scooped me the following. The place is ran by a Lesbian who’s lover is a LA Cop. The Cock Cops and Dyke officers run the show with it being the hottest attraction in town. My trick/date/friend/weird encounter offered to take me there. It’s the brightest building on the block and wasn’t far from the Motel that Ken booked us in another attempt aggravate me beyond belief. Are condoms used? Get real! So, this is LA huh? The parks are also a paradise to stroll through with hot action to go with your stroll. One guy confided to me that people thought that he was stuck up because he wouldn’t walk over to their cars. He’s not about to walk up to a stranger. Why not? He still f**ks them! Yes, he admitted to me that he gets his most action in the parks. Sick or Silly? After getting enough information for Saga’s from here on out, I suggested to my married admirer who was very smitten with me that it was time to get a bite to eat. I had been too pissed off earlier with Ken to eat like I should. He took me to a old fashioned drive in Hamburger Joint. I ordered a double cheese buger with onion rings and a vanilla shake. My pal ordered the same only with fries. He told me that he was a fry man. Then in an effort to be cute, a thigh man with the punch line being his hand on my thigh. Later, I retrieved Ken from the bar after sending Mr. LA Law home to his wife in kids. Wow! What a night! As we checked out of the Motel, I told Ken that I wasn’t leaving LA until I saw that Hollywood sign. Ken asked the Desk Clerk for directions in Spanish which she gave him in Spanish. I had a sinking feeling that we were going to be lost again. I stopped in my tracks as we walked to the car upon spotting the sign. “Ken, the sign is right under own noses and we both missed it.” “You need to stop drinking so much. You lush!” “HIC!” “Drunken slut!” “HICCUP! HICCUP! HIC!” I staggered the rest of the walk to the car feeling good because Ken had finally laughed. “This may be it for us, Babe!” “Not a chance! You’re going to get well and recover so I can kick your ass about this shit!” “Well, you got articles out of the deal!” “Gee thanks! I owe you big time bitch! Of course, we drove to the park where the sign hung high above the hills. Of course, the pictures that we took developed with the sign being barely visable. What a waste of film! Ken had insisted on driving back to Washington which was fine with me. I had purchased a laptop, I could write about my fun adventures. My vacation was anything but boring! Next year, it’s off to Cedar Points, Treasure Island, and the other 3 amusement parks in Ohio and surrounding areas. This roadside Saga will make way on the highway in an RV! You have until August of next year to decide if you want to go or not. You never traveled until you traveled with me. This is a promise, threat, and acclaimation!
© Nevin Jefferson, All Rights Reserved